These days time seems to be truncated, at warp speed, here one day and gone the next. It's driving me crazy especially as I approach my 65th birthday next week. How did I get here so fast? I remember the times, especially when I was a much younger woman with toddlers, when the days didn't pass fast enough, especially when summer meant longer work days for my husband and isolation out in the country with two children who hated taking naps. I thought I'd die before sundown, just from the boredom if nothing else.
But now, from the perspective of a grandmother whose sundown is coming way too soon, I wonder where that time went, and why I didn't have the sense to enjoy it while it lasted. I'd give anything for a day in the hammock with my babies, snuggling and reading yet again another story.
But nothing to do about that now but savor the time I have left, hoping that heaven means that we get to step out of the great river of time once and for all, into a state where time doesn't matter and where love and happiness are finally a permanent state of being rather than something we are constantly striving for...
In the meantime, I try to cherish my days here on earth while I still have them, the people I love, and the opportunity I have to serve God. It's not perfect but it's mine, and I am grateful for it. But I'll admit, it's hard not to go time-surfing--reliving memories from the past, projecting my hopes onto the future. Lord, help me stay in the moment, no matter how ordinary.
For like all of us, it might be the last moment I have.